Sugarcane

<<set $xp += 4>>\nWhat would you like to study?\n[[Bullshitting|JrBull]]\n[[Hurrying|JrHurr]]\n[[Guessing|JrGuess]]\n[[Socializing|JrSoc]]\n

<<if $level neq "K">>You have no health.\nOh, brave adventurer, you have truly failed here. \nYou lose all of your friends.<<set $friends = 0>>\nYou lose 1 level.<<set $level -= 1>><<if $level eq 0>><<set $level = "K">><<endif>><<set $xp = 0>><<set $xpNeeded /= 2>>\n<<dynamiclink $town[0] "Return to Town in Shame">>\n<<else>>Welp, now you've done it. \nYou're dead. \nI guess you weren't so much a brave adventurer as a Kindergartner...\n\nGame Over.\n<<endif>>

<<if Math.random()*$guessing gt .5>><<print $enemySoc>><<set $playdam = Math.floor(Math.random() * $damages[7]) + $damages[6] + $socializing>><<set $enemHealth -= $playdam>>\nYou hit the <<print $enemy>> for <<if $playdam eq 0>>0<<endif>><<print $playdam>> damage.\n<<else>>Seriously? I don't think the <<print $enemy>> wants to talk to you about its "feelings" and "dreams".<<endif>><<set $socializing += $skillInc>>\n<<display EnemyAttack>>

<<silently>>\n<<set $enem = Math.round(Math.random()*($level eq "K" ? 0 : $level))>>\n<<if $enem lte 6>>\n <<print tale.get("getEnemy"+$enem).text>>\n<<else>>\n <<print tale.get("getEnemy6").text>>\n<<endif>>\n<<endsilently>> \nOh no! You've encountered a dangerous <<print $enemy>>!\nIt closes in on you!\n\n[[Enter Combat|Combat]]\n[[Attempt to Flee!|Flee]]

<<if $i lt $display.length>>\n<<print $display[$i]>>\n<<set $i += 1>><<display "displayPrint">>\n<<endif>>

Skills:\n Bullshitting: <<print $bullshitting>>\n Guessing: <<print $guessing>>\n Socializing: <<print $socializing>>\n Hurrying: <<print $hurrying>>\n\nYou are level <<print $level>>, and have <<if $friends eq 0>>0<<else>><<print $friends>><<endif>> friend<<if $friends neq 1>>s<<endif>>.\n\n<<dynamiclink $lastPassage "Back">>

<<set $friends -= 1>><<set $xp += $xpNeeded/10>>\nYou hand over one of your friends to the bearded man. You don't find it all strange that friendships are bought and sold like commodities. \nYou feel a lot more knowledgeable.\n<<dynamiclink $town[0] "Return to Town">>

<<set $inv = 200>>You unsheath the sword from around your waist and run towards the dragon. It rises up and prepares to crush you.\nIn retrospect, you maybe should've led with the deadly pointy thing and followed up with throwing the useless pieces paper you've received along your journey.\nOf course, it's too late for that now, so you'll just have to do with a more enraged dragon.\nYou battle long and hard for a tiring and horrible 3 minutes before you stab your sword into its gut.\nIt falls over dead.\nYou pick up your diplomas from the surrounding area.\nThe people of Universiton thank you for freeing them from the dragon-king's reign. They lay upon you many a wreath and valuable metal, along with a Degree.\nThe Princess of Jobsburg offers for you to follow her back to her land of Jobsburg.\n[[Follow Princess|Jobsburg]]\n

<<if Math.random() gt .5>><<print $enemyFists>><<set $playdam = Math.floor(Math.random() * $damages[3]) + $damages[2] + $hurrying>><<set $enemHealth -= $playdam>>\nYou hit the <<print $enemy>> for <<if $playdam eq 0>>0<<endif>><<print $playdam>> damage.\n<<else>>You punch the <<print $enemy>>. I'm not quite sure what you were hoping to accomplish in doing so.<<endif>>\n<<display EnemyAttack>>

<<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random()*100)>>\n<<if $num lt 60>>\n <<set $enemy = "George Washington">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*6)+12>>\n <<set $enemXP = 4>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "No. John Hancock was the first signer.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "Well, he's dead, but I give you points for trying.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Really? Wooden teeth? Oh, the 1700s were a crazy time, I suppose.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Something something Benedict Arnold.">>\n <<set $damages = [1, 4, 6, 1, 3, 7, 0, 6]>>\n<<else>>\n <<set $enemy = "Another Book">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*3)+15>>\n <<set $enemXP = 4.6>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "At least you're holding it the right way, this time.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "Stop that!">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "I don't quite remember Percy Jackson killing Dumbledore.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Book groups, everyone!">>\n <<set $damages = [6, 4, 5, 4, 8, 4, 9, 2]>>\n<<endif>>

<<set $lastPassage = state.history[0].passage.title>><<display checkLevel>><<set $display = []>><<set $town[0] = "Little Highham">>Welcome to Little Highham!\nDown the road you can see the metropolis of Greater Highham, this little suburb barely deserves to exist.\n<<display options>>\n[[Enter the Classroom|JrClass]]\n[[Enter the Studyhall|JrStudy]]\n[[See the Nurse|Nurse]]

<<silently>>\n<<display "Timer Addon">>\n<<display "setup">>\n<<endsilently>>\nSchoolPG\nSchoolPG is a strange, sardonic, tongue-in-cheek game I made in under 48 hours. Ostensibly, it's about my experience with the American education process, but I'm not really sure how true that is. Although I'm sure it has some deeper meaning, I'm not really sure what that meaning is, or even if I meant it to mean that.\nIn any case, enjoy!\n[[Begin Game|Begin]]

<<set $xp += 1>><<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random() * 100)>><<if $num lt 10>><<display ER1>>\n<<else>><<if $num lt 20>><<display ER2>><<else>><<if $num lt 30>><<display ER3>><<else>><<if $num lt 40>><<display ER4>><<else>><<if $num lt 50>><<display ER5>><<else>><<if $num lt 60>><<display ER6>><<else>><<if $num lt 70>><<display ER7>><<else>><<if $num lt 80>><<display ER8>><<else>><<if $num lt 90>><<display ER9>><<else>><<display ER10>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>

<<if $inv eq 0>>You ain't got shit, son.\n<<else>>\n<<if $inv gte 1>>You have one Elementary Diploma. \nIt's essentially worthless, and I don't know what you hope to gain from it. Maybe throw it at something? Or trade it for some friends?<<endif>>\n<<if $inv gte 2>>You have one Junior High Diploma.\nYou don't even know why you have this. You were only in that crappy little town for two horrifying years. I mean, levels. <<endif>>\n<<if $inv gte 3>>You have one High School Diploma\nThis one actually has some merit. Mind you, not much, and you don't really know if it was worth the pomp and circumstance to get it. Maybe it will help you down the road?<<endif>>\n<<if $inv gte 4>>You have one Degree.\nThis one actually gets you money. Or rather, it would if you had a job, you lazy hippie.<<endif>>\n<<endif>>\n<<dynamiclink $lastPassage "Back">>

<<set $inc = $skillInc * (1+Math.random())>><<set $socializing += $inc>>Hey! Your <<print $friends>> friends have study hall now, too. You increase your Socializing skill by <<print $inc>>.<<if Math.random() lt .24>>\nYou even meet some new people! You gain 2 friends.<<set $friends += 2>><<endif>>\n<<dynamiclink $town[0] "Back to Town">>

The nurse patches you up.\n<<if $health lt $maxHealth>><<set $healthgain = Math.floor(Math.random() * $maxHealth/2)+1>><<if $health + $healthgain gt $maxHealth>><<set $healthgain = $maxHealth - $health>><<endif>>You gain <<print $healthgain>> health!<<set $health += $healthgain>><<endif>>\n<<if Math.random() gt .3>>She gives you a lollipop. Wasn't that nice?<<endif>>\n<<dynamiclink $town[0] "Back to Town">>

<<if Math.random()*$bullshitting gt .5>><<print $enemyBull>><<set $playdam = Math.floor(Math.random() * $damages[5] + $bullshitting) + $damages[4]>><<set $enemHealth -= $playdam>>\nYou hit the <<print $enemy>> for <<if $playdam eq 0>>0<<endif>><<print $playdam>> damage.\n<<else>>Unsurprisingly, the <<print $enemy>> doesn't believe your lecture on how pre-revolutionary France means it shouldn't try to consume your soul.<<endif>><<set $bullshitting += $skillInc>>\n<<display EnemyAttack>>

<<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random()*100)>>\n<<if $num lt 60>>\n <<set $enemy = "Emotions">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*4)+17>>\n <<set $enemXP = 5>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "Fear?">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "Anger?">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Intelligence isn't an emotion.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Lonliness? How many friends do you even have?">>\n <<set $damages = [5, 5, 8, 5, 3, 9, 2, 10]>>\n<<else>>\n <<set $enemy = "Introductory Physics">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*8)+14>>\n <<set $enemXP = 5>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "Unfortunately, the heavier object doesn't fall faster, and the Earth isn't flat. Good effort, though.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "Ah. Newton's Third Law.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Now, I don't know enough about quantum physics to dispute you, but I'm pretty sure we can tell both the speed and position of things.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Whatever.">>\n <<set $damages = [6, 8, 9, 2, 6, 11, 6, 6]>>\n<<endif>>

<<set $inc = $skillInc * (1+Math.random())>><<set $bullshitting += $inc>>You practice and manage to increase you Bullshitting by <<print $inc>> points. Luckily, they all believe you when you say you aren't supposed to be in class.\n<<dynamiclink $town[0] "Back to Town">>

<<set $lastPassage = state.history[0].passage.title>>\nWelcome, great adventurer!\nSo you think you can make your way in this world and ultimately defeat the feared dragon-king of Universiton to rescue the lovely Princess of Jobsburg? Good luck. \nYou're going to need it.\nYou are outside the town of <<print $town[0]>>.\n<<dynamiclink $town[0] "Go into town">>\n

You trip.\nYou lose 1 health.<<set $health -= 1>>\n[[Back to Town|Elementribury]]

<<if $health lte 0>>\nOh no. It appears the <<print $enemy>> has fatally wounded you...\n<<display "Death">>\n<<else>>\n<<print $enemy>> is currently at <<print $enemHealth>> health.\nYou are currently at <<print $health>> health.\n<<set $text = "Bullshit the " + $enemy>>\n<<dynamiclink "CombatBullshit" $text>>\n<<set $text = "Talk Down the " + $enemy>>\n<<dynamiclink "CombatSocializing" $text>>\n<<set $text = "Randomly Guess Something to Defeat the " + $enemy>>\n<<dynamiclink "CombatGuessing" $text>>\n<<set $text = "Punch the " + $enemy>>\n<<dynamiclink "CombatFists" $text>>\n<<endif>>

<<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random()*100)>>\n<<if $num lt 60>>\n <<set $enemy = "Science!">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*1)+10>>\n <<set $enemXP = 3>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "No, no. You mean hypothesize.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "What are you expecting to gain from this? Science isn't a pinata.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Now, I'm from the Teacher's Guild, instead of the Scientist's Guild, but I don't think that atoms are made of Kardashians.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Peer-reviewing is always a great idea.">>\n <<set $damages = [5, 5, 3, 3, 2, 6, 8, 3]>>\n<<else>>\n <<set $enemy = "Short Story">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*6)+6>>\n <<set $enemXP = 3.5>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "I admire your creativity, but there was a prompt that you were supposed to use. Something like "School", if I remember right.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "Do you need to go to the Principal's office?">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Wow! This is a work of art. The surrealism is on par with Carroll's work.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Well, many great authors have done collaborative works.">>\n <<set $damages = [5, 5, 0, 4, 3, 8, 2, 6]>>\n<<endif>>

<<if Math.random()*$guessing gt .5>><<print $enemyGuess>><<set $playdam = Math.floor(Math.random() * $damages[1]) + $damages[0] + $guessing>><<set $enemHealth -= $playdam>>\nYou hit the <<print $enemy>> for <<if $playdam eq 0>>0<<endif>><<print $playdam>> damage.\n<<else>>You wave about randomly, hoping do accomplish something.<<endif>><<set $guessing += $skillInc>>\n<<display EnemyAttack>>

<<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random()*100)>>\n<<if $num lt 60>>\n <<set $enemy = "Elective">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*2)+50>>\n <<set $enemXP = 192>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "They're all pretty much the same. You have to deal with one, so it doesn't really matter which, does it?">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "WOODWORKING.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Easy A, Easy A, Easy A. You repeat your mantra again a"+"nd again a"+"nd again.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Painting? Something artsy, where you can just sort of hang out, you know?">>\n <<set $damages = [23, 22, 21, 12, 27, 20, 21, 12]>>\n<<else>>\n <<set $enemy = "Running Start">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*8)+46>>\n <<set $enemXP = 190>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "Unfortunately for you, these aren't multiple choice problems. I mean, they are, there are four options each round, but guessing to guess was not the best option here. You don't really know what to do. But that won't stop you! A"+"nd you'll accomplish something anyway!">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "Why are you like this? You just keep trying to punch everything that moves. This is really going to get you into trouble, you know.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "You really don't know what you're doing here. You don't feel like you're qualified to be making these short trips to Universiton.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "It's nice to have some friends on these voyages. They can help you out in your time of crisis here.">>\n <<set $damages = [15, 27, 2, 2, 22, 25, 27, 18]>>\n<<endif>>

You stare down the horrific dragon.\n<<if $crown eq 0>>A gold crown sits atop its head at an angle.<<else>>A golden crown lies at your feet<<endif>>\n<<if $cloak eq 0>>A thick cloak of the skin of the innocents is draped over its shoulders.<<else>>His shoulders are bare.<<endif>>\n<<if $princess eq 0>>It clutches the Princess of Jobsburg in its gnarled clawed hand.<<else>>The Princess of Jobsburg stands beside you, more beautiful than you could ever have imagined.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $crown eq 0>>[[Use Elementary Diploma|ElemDip]]<<endif>>\n<<if $cloak eq 0>>[[Use Jr High Diploma|JrDip]]<<endif>>\n<<if $princess eq 0>>[[Use High School Diploma|SrDip]]<<endif>>\n<<if $crown neq 0>><<if $cloak neq 0>><<if $princess neq 0>>[[Deliver Killing Blow|BossDefeat]] <<endif>><<endif>><<endif>>

<<silently>>\n<<set $enem = Math.floor(Math.random() * ($level - 7)+$level)>>\n<<if $enem lte 7>>\n<<print tale.get("getEnemy7").text>>\n<<else>>\n<<print tale.get("getEnemy8").text>>\n<<endif>>\n<<endsilently>>\nOh no! You've encountered a dangerous <<print $enemy>>!\nIt closes in on you!\n\n[[Enter Combat|Combat]]\n[[Attempt to Flee!|Flee]]

<<silently>>\n<<set $TimerAddon = \nfunction()\n{\n var div_timer_container = document.createElement('div');\n div_timer_container.setAttribute('id', 'timer');\n\n var div_timer_canvas = document.createElement('canvas');\n div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('id', 'timer_canvas');\n div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('width', '150');\n div_timer_canvas.setAttribute('height', '150');\n div_timer_canvas.width = div_timer_canvas.width;\n div_timer_container.appendChild(div_timer_canvas);\n \n var div_timer_text = document.createElement('span');\n div_timer_text.setAttribute('id', 'timer_text');\n //div_timer_text.innerHTML = "Hurry Up!";\n div_timer_container.appendChild(div_timer_text);\n\n var Timer_Active = false;\n var Timer_Paused = false;\n var Timer_Mode = 'none';\n var Timer_Param = "";\n var Timer_Max = 0;\n var Timer_Now = 0;\n \n var div_jonah_floater = document.getElementById('floater');\n if(div_jonah_floater) div_jonah_floater.appendChild(div_timer_container);\n\n var div_sugarcane_menu = document.getElementById('sidebar');\n if(div_sugarcane_menu) div_sugarcane_menu.appendChild(div_timer_container);\n\n function StartTimer(val)\n {\n Timer_Active = true;\n Timer_Paused = false;\n Timer_Max = val;\n Timer_Now = val;\n div_timer_text.style.display = 'block';\n div_timer_canvas.style.display = 'block';\n }\n\n function StopTimer()\n {\n Timer_Active = false;\n div_timer_text.style.display = 'none';\n div_timer_canvas.style.display = 'none';\n }\n\n function PauseTimer()\n {\n Timer_Paused = true;\n }\n\n function ResumeTimer()\n {\n Timer_Paused = false;\n }\n\n function SetTimerText(text)\n {\n div_timer_text.innerHTML = text;\n }\n\n function SetTimerMode(mode)\n {\n if(mode == 'display')\n {\n Timer_Mode = 'display';\n }\n else if(mode == 'restart')\n {\n Timer_Mode = 'restart';\n }\n else Timer_Mode = 'none';\n }\n\n function SetTimerParam(param)\n {\n Timer_Param = param;\n }\n\n function OnTimerEnd()\n {\n StopTimer();\n if(Timer_Mode == 'restart')\n {\n state.restart();\n if(Timer_Param) alert(Timer_Param);\n window.location.reload(true);\n \n } \n else if(Timer_Mode == 'display')\n {\n state.display(Timer_Param[0]);\n }\n }\n\n function OnTimerTick()\n {\n if(Timer_Active && !Timer_Paused)\n {\n Timer_Now = Timer_Now - 0.1;\n\n if(Timer_Now <= 0) Timer_Now = 0;\n \n var context = div_timer_canvas.getContext("2d");\n div_timer_canvas.width = div_timer_canvas.width;\n\n var x = div_timer_canvas.width / 2;\n var y = div_timer_canvas.height / 2;\n var radius = 65;\n var startAngle = 1.5 * Math.PI;\n \n var endAngle = (1.5 + (2 / Timer_Max * Timer_Now)) * Math.PI;\n var counterClockwise = false;\n\n context.beginPath();\n context.arc(x, y, radius, startAngle, endAngle, counterClockwise);\n context.lineWidth = 15;\n if(div_jonah_floater) context.strokeStyle = "black";\n if(div_sugarcane_menu) context.strokeStyle = "#BBBBBB";\n context.stroke();\n\n context.font = 'bold 30px sans-serif';\n if(div_jonah_floater) context.fillStyle = "black";\n if(div_sugarcane_menu) context.fillStyle = "#BBBBBB";\n context.fillText(Timer_Now.toFixed(1), 55, 85);\n\n if(Timer_Now <= 0) OnTimerEnd();\n }\n }\n\n setInterval(function(){ OnTimerTick(); }, 100); \n\n macros['start_timer'] =\n {\n handler: function(obj, fnc, val)\n {\n StartTimer(val);\n }\n }\n\n macros['stop_timer'] =\n {\n handler: function(obj, fnc, val)\n {\n StopTimer();\n }\n }\n\n macros['pause_timer'] =\n {\n handler: function(obj, fnc, val)\n {\n PauseTimer();\n }\n }\n\n macros['resume_timer'] =\n {\n handler: function(obj, fnc, val)\n {\n ResumeTimer();\n }\n }\n\n macros['set_timer_text'] =\n {\n handler: function(obj, fnc, val)\n {\n SetTimerText(val);\n }\n }\n\n macros['set_timer_mode'] =\n {\n handler: function(obj, fnc, val)\n {\n SetTimerMode(val);\n }\n }\n\n macros['set_timer_param'] =\n {\n handler: function(obj, fnc, val)\n {\n SetTimerParam(val);\n }\n }\n\n}\n>>\n<<print $TimerAddon()>>\n<<endsilently>>

<<set $inc = $skillInc * (1+Math.random())>><<set $hurrying += $inc>>You do some running or something. You increase your Hurrying skill by <<print $inc>>.\n<<dynamiclink $town[0] "Back to Town">>

You are currently in <<print $town[0]>>.\nYou can currently travel to:\n <<set $i = 1>><<display "Towns">>

<<if $i lt $town.length>>\n<<dynamiclink $town[$i]>>\n<<set $i += 1>><<display "Towns">>\n<<endif>>

<<set $friends -= 1>><<set $xp += 2>>\nYou throw one of your friends in the path of the <<print $enemy>>. It falls upon your friend like a wolf unto a rabbit. \nDo you even feel bad about it?\nYou're kind of a dick, aren't you...\n<<dynamiclink $town[0] "Return to Town">>

<<if Math.floor(Math.random()*100)*$hurrying lt 25>>Well, that didn't turn out very well for you did it? It certainly seems like the average <<print $enemy>> is faster than you gave it credit for, huh?\nIn your hurried flight, you took one damage.<<set $health -= 1>>\n<<if $friends gte 1>>You may use 1 friend to escape!\n[[Throw Friend in the Way|FriendEscape]]<<endif>>\n[[Enter Combat|Combat]]\n<<else>><<set $xp += 1>>\nYou successfully outun the horrifying <<print $enemy>>! Good job! You gain <<print $skillInc>> points in Hurrying!<<set $hurrying += $skillInc>>\n<<dynamiclink $town[0] "Return to Town">>\n<<endif>>

You play house.\nGood job.\nYou gain <<print 5*$skillInc>> points in Socializing.<<set $socializing += 5*$skillInc>>\n[[Back to Town|Elementribury]]

You chuck the scrap of paper Elementribury gave you after you stay there towards the monstrous dragon. \nIt rears its head at you and as it opens its mouth to roar a breath of flame against you, the crown upon its head clatters down to the ground.\nYou consider this to be a direct result of your actions and scramble towards it.\n[[Continue Fight|Boss]] <<set $crown = 1>>

<<set $friends -= 1>><<set $maxHealth *= 1.2>>\nYou hand over one of your friends to the bearded man. You wave goodbye.\nYou feel healthier.\nNo, I'm not really sure why. Maybe that friend was a bad influence. Then again, given you just sold them for a health pickup, you might be the bad influence.\n\n<<dynamiclink $town[0] "Return to Town">>

<<set $lastPassage = state.history[0].passage.title>><<display checkLevel>><<set $display = []>><<set $town[0] = "Greater Highham">>Welcome to Greater Highham!\nThis city serves as the main megalopolis of the area. Adventurers from around the entire area journey here to test their skills!\n<<display options>>\n[[Enter the Classroom|SrClass]]\n[[Enter the Studyhall|JrStudy]]\n[[See the Nurse|Nurse]]

The man behind the counter eyes you suspiciously.\n[[Trade Friends for Health Increase|HealthFriends]]\n[[Trade Friends for XP|XPFriends]]

<<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random()*100)>>\n<<if $num lt 60>>\n <<set $enemy = "Standardized Testing">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*5)+27>>\n <<set $enemXP = 36>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "Twenty-five percent guaranteed isn't bad. I mean, technically it's failing. But do you really care about that?">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "While a suspension of your adventurer's license is technically a way to defeat this beast, it isn't exactly the preferred method.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Unfortunately, this is one of the few times that Bullshitting will let you down.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "You're not allowed to get a book when you finish. I don't think collaboration is going to go over particularly well. If they don't notice, though...">>\n <<set $damages = [6, 20, 17, 0, 4,27, 0, 50]>>\n<<else>>\n <<set $enemy = "Physical Education">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*10)+24>>\n <<set $enemXP = 36>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "No one needs to know that you completely made up the numbers for your testing, I suppose. Your secret's safe with me... weakling.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "That's the spirit! Isn't wrestling fun!">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Oh, well. If you have a written decree from the Physician's Guild I don't think they'll be able to do anything about it.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "See? It isn't all bad. Team sports can be fun!">>\n <<set $damages = [17, 0, 17, 10, 12, 15, 20, 8]>>\n<<endif>>

<<set $lastPassage = state.history[0].passage.title>><<display checkLevel>><<set $display = []>><<set $town[0] = "Elementribury">>Welcome to Elementribury!\n<<display options>>\n[[Enter the Classroom|ElemClass]]\n[[Enter Recess|ElemRecess]]\n[[See the Nurse|Nurse]]

You toss the plaque that the mayor of Little Highham gave you after helping them out with their problems at the the dragon's head.\nYou miss.\nYou do, however, hit its shoulder. It shakes in response and the cloak, made of the skins of the innocents falls to the ground.\nYou're really not very good at this.\n[[Continue Fight|Boss]] <<set $cloak = 1>>

The fabled land.\nThe prophecized holy land.\nYou finally got here.\nAll of that toil and work.\nAnd now you get to some more.\nGoooood luck, sucka!\n\nYOU HAVE WON.\nGOOD JOB.\n<<display options>>

<<if $num eq 3>>You reveal the penny.\n"Wow! I didn't think you'd actually guess right."\nYou gain <<print 4*$skillInc>> points in Guessing!<<set $guessing += 4*$skillInc>>\n<<else>>You turn over the shell to see nothing. \n"Ha! See, I'm magical, I told you." Joey says.\n<<endif>>\n[[Back to Town|Elementribury]]

SchoolPG

<<silently>>\n<<set $enem = Math.floor(Math.random() * ($level - 9)+$level)>>\n<<if $enem lte 9>>\n<<print tale.get("getEnemy9").text>>\n<<else>>\n<<print tale.get("getEnemy" + $enem).text>>\n<<endif>>\n<<endsilently>>\nOh no! You've encountered a deathly <<print $enemy>>!\nIt closes in on you!\n\n[[Enter Combat|Combat]]\n[[Attempt to Flee!|Flee]]

<<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random()*100)>>\n<<if $num lt 60>>\n <<set $enemy = "Driver's Education">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*2)+50>>\n <<set $enemXP = 176>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "Well, if there aren't any cops around, no one's really going to care...">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "Road rage will get that other car out of the way. I just feel I shouldn't be supporting your actions here.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "While it's true that the majority of accidents occur within thirty miles of the home, that's more because that's where people drive more, isn't it? Why are you saying otherwise?">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "I don't think that you want to be so buddy-buddy with your instructor. He's a little creepy.">>\n <<set $damages = [23, 22, 21, 12, 27, 20, 21, 12]>>\n<<else>>\n <<set $enemy = "Date">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*8)+46>>\n <<set $enemXP = 180>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "Well, if you swing enough times, one of them will hit, I suppose.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "No. I do n"+"ot condone this action. Even if he's with her instead of you.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Something something be yourself.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Well, you found out from her friend's friend's friend, but you figured out she liked you, so I can't really complain about your methods.">>\n <<set $damages = [15, 27, 2, 2, 22, 25, 27, 18]>>\n<<endif>>

<<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random()*100)>>\n<<if $num lt 60>>\n <<set $enemy = "College">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*2)+50>>\n <<set $enemXP = 217>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "I'm pretty sure this is what everyone does.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "What are you trying to accomplish here? Are you trying to beat up a University? Because that's not going to work. At all.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "The historical figure you'd most like to eat dinner with is Nikola Tesla. You'd like to see the Defenestration of Prague. You've faced discrimination. Yeah... keep up the good work with these entrance essays.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "You talk to your friends. Maybe they'll help you figure out where to go. O"+"r where you want to go. O"+"r how to go.">>\n <<set $damages = [23, 22, 5, 5, 27, 20, 21, 12]>>\n<<else>>\n <<set $enemy = "Examination">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*8)+46>>\n <<set $enemXP = 219>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "You don't really like how they discourage guessing. It's gotten you this far, after all.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "It'll certainly get you out of this battle of wills. I just don't think it will end well. I'd really have hoped you figured out this was an untenable strategy some time ago.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "You explain quite intricately how Catherine de'Medici was nearly directly responsible for both Sigmund Freud's theories a"+"nd World War II. Somehow it makes sense.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "You're not supposed to discuss any of the problems for some time or your score may be invalidated. Nobody follows that guideline, least of all you. Hell, you don't even follow it during the test!">>\n <<set $damages = [15, 27, 19, 0, 30, 15, 27, 18]>>\n<<endif>>

<<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random()*100)>>\n<<if $num lt 60>>\n <<set $enemy = "Thematic Analysis Essay">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*5)+44>>\n <<set $enemXP = 160>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "While Claire is n"+"ot the main character's name, the rest of your paper is good enough to pass.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "I think you need anger management. I'm concerned about you.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "That's a very thought-provoking sentence you just wrote. Or so you tell yourself. Of course, if you take more than two seconds to look at it, it's pretty clear it means literally nothing.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Essays aren't really group activities, that said... you're careful in word choice. Plagarism isn't exactly respected in this town.">>\n <<set $damages = [20, 22, 20, 11, 27, 15, 22, 22]>>\n<<else>>\n <<set $enemy = "Class Project">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*10)+40>>\n <<set $enemXP = 160>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "Yeah, who needs to read the textbook?">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "You're seriously going to steal another student's project? I suppose it would work if no one found out...">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Now, n"+"ot to call you out on this, but I don't suppose you want to talk about a book for your English project? Instead of the Constitution?">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "In any group project, we both know there's usually only one person who does the work.">>\n <<set $damages = [27, 5, 27, 10, 22, 15, 25, 18]>>\n<<endif>>

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<<if $num eq 1>>You reveal the penny.\n"Wow! I didn't think you'd actually guess right."\nYou gain <<print 4*$skillInc>> points in Guessing!<<set $guessing += 4*$skillInc>>\n<<else>>You turn over the shell to see nothing. \n"Ha! See, I'm magical, I told you." Joey says.\n<<endif>>\n[[Back to Town|Elementribury]]

<<silently>>\n<<if $xp gte $xpNeeded>>\n <<set $xp -= $xpNeeded>>\n <<set $xpNeeded += 4>>\n <<set $maxHealth += 5>>\n <<set $skillInc += .1>>\n <<if $level eq "K">>\n <<set $level = 0>>\n <<endif>>\n <<set $level += 1>>\n <<set $display.push("LEVEL UP! Congratulations, you are now level " + $level + "!")>>\n <<if $level eq 7>>\n <<set $town.push("Little Highham")>>\n <<set $xpNeeded *= 4>>\n <<set $inv += 1>>\n <<set $display.push("You have unlocked the town of Little Highham!")>>\n <<endif>>\n <<if $level eq 9>>\n <<set $town.push("Greater Highham")>>\n <<set $xpNeeded *= 4>>\n <<set $inv += 1>>\n <<set $display.push("You have unlocked the town of Greater Highham!")>>\n <<endif>>\n <<if $level eq 13>>\n <<set $town.push("Universiton")>>\n <<set $inv += 1>>\n <<set $xpNeeded *= 4>>\n <<set $display.push("You have unlocked the town of Universiton!")>>\n <<endif>>\n<<endif>>\n<<if $health lte 0>>\n <<timedgoto "Death" 0s>>\n<<endif>>\n<<endsilently>>\n<<if $xp gte $xpNeeded>><<display checkLevel>><<else>><<set $i = 0>><<display "displayPrint">>\n<<endif>>\n

Uh oh.\nYou thought you were safe out on the playground.\nBoy, were you wrong.\nA wild Bully appears!<<silently>>\n<<set $enemy = "Bully">>\n<<set $enemHealth = 10 * ($level eq "K" ? 1 : $level)>>\n<<set $enemXP = 4>>\n<<set $enemyGuess = "You just hand over your lunch money. It's easier this way.">>\n<<set $enemyFists = "You swing back at the Bully! Fight fire with fire, you always say!">>\n<<set $enemyBull = "You're somehow managing to convince him to beat you into a pulp to stuff you into a locker. Is there a reasonable human being in there after all?">>\n<<set $enemySoc = "You call for your friends. Maybe together you can even the odds.">>\n<<set $ll = ($level eq "K" ? 0 : $level)>>\n<<set $damages = [2*$ll, 1*$ll, 3*$ll, 1*$ll, 2*$ll, 2*$ll, 4*$ll, 1*$ll]>>\n<<endsilently>>\n[[Enter Combat|Combat]]\n[[Attempt to Flee!|Flee]]

Well.\nThis was a waste of time.\nNothing happens.\n[[Back to Town|Elementribury]]

You eat some dirt.\nApparently it was a good idea at the time. I'm really not sure how you thought it was a good idea, but hey. Whatever floats your boat...\nYou gain <<print 3*$skillInc>> points in Bullshitting!<<set $bullshitting += 3*$skillInc>>\n[[Back to Town|Elementribury]]

You have fun or something. Was that really worth your time?\nYou gain <<print $skillInc>> points in Socializing!<<set $socializing += $skillInc>>\n[[Back to Town|Elementribury]]

You play hopscotch!\nhop\nhop\n hop\n hop\nhop\nLook, I don't know how hopscotch works.\nYou gain <<print $skillInc>> points in Socializing and .5 friends!<<set $socializing += $skillInc>><<set $friends += .5>>\n[[Back to Town|Elementribury]]

<<set $lastPassage = state.history[0].passage.title>><<set $town[0] = "Universiton">>\nWelcome to the Crown Jewel of the continent, Universiton!\nThe streets are literally paved with knowledge and gold.\nThose who leave are infinitely better to those who enter in every way.\nIt is the City of the Gods and the City of the People.\nYou've travelled far, but you've finally made it here.\n<<display options>>\n<<if $inv lt 100>>[[Defeat the Dragon|Boss]]<<else>>[[Continue to Jobsburg|Jobsburg]]<<endif>>\n

<<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random()*100)>>\n<<if $num lt 60>>\n <<set $enemy = "Worksheet">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*4)+1>>\n <<set $enemXP = 2>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "You certainly seem to get some of it right, even if by all... regular accounts it would still be mostly wrong.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "Uh. So now the corner's shredded...">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Yes! You're confident about this. Two plus two is equal to three. You just can't be wrong.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "No cheating!">>\n <<set $damages = [2, 1, 1, 2, 1, 1, 0, 1]>>\n<<else>>\n <<set $enemy = "Coloring">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*6)+4>>\n <<set $enemXP = 2>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "I'm n"+"ot sure that green and pink should go together like that...">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "Why do you keep trying to do this?">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "N"+"ot to contradict you o"+"r anything, but you do realize there are lines, right? A"+"nd you're technically supposed to colour within them?">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Eh, sure, why not?">>\n <<set $damages = [1, 2, 0, 3, 2, 2, 2, 1]>>\n<<endif>>

<<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random()*100)>>\n<<if $num lt 30>>\n <<set $enemy = "Playtime">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*2)+1>>\n <<set $enemXP = 1>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "You play with other children. It seems to have had some effect...">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "You apparently try punching during Playtime. I'm n"+"ot sure you know how this works.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Well. I'm n"+"ot sure how exactly you're bullshitting playing, but it definitely works.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Good job! You seem to know how this works.">>\n <<set $damages = [2, 1, 0, 1, 2, 2, 4, 1]>>\n<<else>>\n <<set $enemy = "Naptime">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*5)+1>>\n <<set $enemXP = 1>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "You try a number of different things. It appears falling asleep is the best tactic.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "You try punching. It really doesn't seem to work very well.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "You pretend to sleep. It's real enough.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Bad child. Naptime is for sleeping, you shouldn't be talking.">>\n <<set $damages = [2, 0, 0, 1, 3, 0, 0, 0]>>\n<<endif>>

<<set $bullshitting = 1>>\n<<set $socializing = 1>>\n<<set $guessing = 1>>\n<<set $hurrying = 1>>\n\n<<set $level = "K">>\n<<set $xp = 0>>\n<<set $xpNeeded = 4>>\n<<set $skillInc = .1>>\n<<set $friends = 0>>\n\n<<set $town = ["Elementribury", "Elementribury"]>>\n<<set $maxHealth = 10>>\n<<set $health = 10>>\n<<set $inv = 0>>\n<<set $crown = 0>>\n<<set $cloak = 0>>\n<<set $princess = 0>>\n\n<<set $display = []>>

You have a brief encounter with travelling Taggers. \nYou engage in their strange rituals of running and touching.\nYou aren't entirely sure how you feel about these strange people from across the seas. Eh, they were nice enough, you suppose. \nYou earn <<print $skillInc>> points in Hurrying!<<set $hurrying += $skillInc>>\nYou gain 1 friend!<<set $friends += 1>>\n[[Back to Town|Elementribury]]

Joey shows you some of the magic tricks he's been working on.\nHe puts a coin under one of three shells and mixes them around.\n"Where's Lincoln?"\n<<silently>>\n<<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random() * 3)+1>>\n<<endsilently>>[[Left]]\n[[Middle]]\n[[Right]]

You build a castle in the sandbox.\nYou gain 1 friend!<<set $friends += 1>>\n[[Back to Town|Elementribury]]

<<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random()*100)>>\n<<if $num lt 60>>\n <<set $enemy = "School Dance">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*8)+20>>\n <<set $enemXP = 32>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "I don't think I can honestly call that dancing. And you certainly aren't going to get any dates moving like that.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "Seriously? I thought you had stopped these actions by now.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Well done! You actually got a date for this little shindig. N"+"ot that you care... obviously.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "That's right. Stick with your friends. Dances are scary places. Don't get caught alone.">>\n <<set $damages = [4, 17, 12, 0, 17, 5, 12, 12]>>\n<<else>>\n <<set $enemy = "Essay">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*5)+24>>\n <<set $enemXP = 32>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "While Claire is n"+"ot the main character's name, the rest of your paper is good enough to pass.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "I think you need anger management. I'm concerned about you.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "That's a very thought-provoking sentence you just wrote. O"+"r so you tell yourself. Of course, if you take more than two seconds to look at it, it's pretty clear it means literally nothing.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Essays aren't really group activities, that said... you're careful in word choice. Plagarism isn't exactly respected in this town.">>\n <<set $damages = [10, 12, 10, 1, 17, 5, 12, 12]>>\n<<endif>>

<<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random()*100)>>\n<<if $num lt 60>>\n <<set $enemy = "Field Trip">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*5)+18>>\n <<set $enemXP = 6>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "Well. I can't say that you're right.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "Don't punch the nice scientist!">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Your dad doesn't work for NASA.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Don't get separated from the group, you guys. Use the buddy system!">>\n <<set $damages = [6, 11, 12, 0, 10, 5, 12, 5]>>\n<<else>>\n <<set $enemy = "Busy Work">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*2)+20>>\n <<set $enemXP = 6>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "Yes, I do really need you to complete the 10 page packet. Sit down a"+"nd shut up.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "Look. I don't care what you do right now, just stop punching things.">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Heh. Like anyone was going to check these anyway.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Shhhhhhhh. I think someone wants you to be quiet.">>\n <<set $damages = [8, 10, 8, 0, 5, 12, 8, 8]>>\n<<endif>>

<<if $num eq 2>>You reveal the penny.\n"Wow! I didn't think you'd actually guess right."\nYou gain <<print 4*$skillInc>> points in Guessing!<<set $guessing += 4*$skillInc>>\n<<else>>You turn over the shell to see nothing. \n"Ha! See, I'm magical, I told you." Joey says.\n<<endif>>\n[[Back to Town|Elementribury]]

<<if $enemHealth gt 0>>\n\nThe <<print $enemy>> lumbers towards you and swings heavily. <<if Math.random()*$hurrying < .5>>\nIt hits you!\nYou fall back.\nYou lose <<set $rl = $level>><<if $level eq "K">><<set $rl = 0>><<endif>><<set $edamage = Math.floor(Math.random()*$rl)+1>><<set $health -= $edamage>><<print $edamage>> health.<<else>>\nIt misses you, though just barely. You breathe a sigh of relief and prepare for another round.<<endif>>\n\n[[Next Round|Combat]] <<else>>You... killed the <<print $enemy>>. Well done! \nYou gain <<set $xpgain = $enemXP + 2*(Math.floor(Math.random()*($level eq "K" ? 0 : $level)))+1>><<set $xp += $xpgain>><<print $xpgain>> xp!\n<<dynamiclink $town[0] "Return to Town">><<endif>>

<<set $inc = $skillInc * (1+Math.random())>><<set $guessing += $inc>>You spend your free time playing memory. You increase your Guessing skill by <<print $inc>>.\n<<dynamiclink $town[0] "Back to Town">>

You throw, with all your might, the booklet you received from Greater Highham at the dragon's mighty taloned claw. \nThe Princess of Jobsburg catches it and jams one of the pointy square corners into the dragon's wrist. \nWith a bellowing howl, the dragon drops the Princess and you rush in to catch her.\nEven though you both know it was entirely her doing, you agree that you will take full credit for her rescue. After all, if you hadn't been there, she wouldn't have had the diploma.\n[[Continue Fight|Boss]] <<set $princess = 1>>

You have <<print $xp>><<if $xp eq 0>>0<<endif>> XP and need <<print $xpNeeded>> to level up.\nYou have <<print $health>> health out of <<print $maxHealth>> possible.\n[[View Stats|ViewStats]]\n[[View Inventory|Inventory]]\n<<if $friends gte 1>>\n[[Visit Trade Depot|Tradepost]]<<else>>You do not have any friends to trade.<<endif>>\n<<if $town.length gt 2>>\n[[Leave Town|World]]<<else>>There are no other towns to visit.<<endif>>

<<set $num = Math.floor(Math.random()*100)>>\n<<if $num lt 60>>\n <<set $enemy = "Multiplication Tables">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*6)+3>>\n <<set $enemXP = 3>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "It's certainly good for your first time.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "...">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "I'm n"+"ot sure how you manage to y'know, bullshit multiplication, but I'll admit I'm impressed.">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Cheater!">>\n <<set $damages = [2, 6, 3, 0, 6, 1, 0, 8]>>\n<<else>>\n <<set $enemy = "Book">>\n <<set $enemHealth = Math.floor(Math.random()*2)+8>>\n <<set $enemXP = 4>>\n <<set $enemyGuess = "Seriously? You're holding it upside down. I bet you aren't even reading it.">>\n <<set $enemyFists = "You have anger issues, don't you?">>\n <<set $enemyBull = "Well, I guess I'll just take your word that it's about the human condition, then...">>\n <<set $enemySoc = "Reading out loud? That sounds like a fantastic idea!">>\n <<set $damages = [3, 3, 0, 5, 6, 3, 4, 4]>>\n<<endif>>